2009 personal

we can take this weekend, and make it last forever, deal the shackles of our lives a breaking blow

Depending on which way you look at today, I got some news which is either incredibly positive and awesome and necessary, or it was terrible and rage making and depressing. I’m trying to go for the former.

The thing about freedom and choice is that there’s a lot of it, and as you get older, no matter how hard you try, you find yourself becoming less open to that and more limited in your expectations.

I’m old enough to know that a situation that doesn’t make you happy at least 60% of the time isn’t worth staying in, I just suck at being the one to end it.

I’m loathed to remain in the lifestyle that was killing me in the first place, but I’ve grown so accustomed to it.

One day, the universe, I swear I’ll do this shit on my own with no colossal pushes. okay? Until then I just want to get better and try and sleep.

gaslight anthem me punkrock

did you hear your favourite song, one last time?

Today is going to be bad, I can feel it. An SEO meeting about the blog bang in the middle of it does not bode well.

To try and contain the fallout from this day of horror, I’m trying to talk out loud as little as possible. So far I said, *oh* to Doug. ipod + head down and there’s a chance I might just get through this terrible day. Although I’m not sure I want to. Was this really what I wanted to do? Live in london, not really like it, write copy and argue about why the News Of The World is entirely *off-brand*? (yes, I say off-brand now, what has become of me?)

How can I make my life the way I want when I only have vague suspicions of what they might be, and they all start at – not this?

’59 sound is still on repeat, and it’s possibly the only thing that’s saving anything.