"it's physically impossible for me to get happy"

I was re-reading Don’t You Forget About Me in the bath. It’s a book of essays on John Hughes movies. It got me to reminiscing, so I found Sixteen Candles and watched it.

Even at thirty it still resonates, maybe not as loud as it did way back when I was an actual teen, but the basic empathy is pretty much the same. It’s put me on an 80s trip, and I’m sitting here waiting for The Sure Thing to finish downloading as I type this.

I think the major difference between viewing Hughes movies as a kid and as an adult, is as a kid you whole-heartedly believe that your life is going to turn out that way, no question of a doubt.Things will be sorted, you’ll never have to question your own character and you’ll also fall in proper fairy tale love. As an adult, you feel a little let down that it didn’t work out that way, yet you’re still sort of naively hoping that at some stage soon your Hughes-esque reality will reveal itself, and then everything will be okay. You’ll just be happy.

I understand about the socio-economic factors, I know my Reaganite cinema, I know about the birth of the teen movie and what it’s function was, but knowing all of this doesn’t make me not want to believe it can be real.

That’s why John Hughes is a genius.

Okay enough, I’m starting to miss the boy who dances like John Cusack in Sixteen Candles.

so this is the new year, and I don't feel any different.

I go back to work tomorrow. I’m sort of looking forward to it. Not that I haven’t enjoyed this endless laying around, watching movies, being awesome, being happy, not leaving the room unless it’s entirely necessary vibe. But it lacked definition, you know? All the days blurred into one. And I’ve always been one of the more productive members of my social group.

Hot water works again, baths truly are tremendous. Spent the day lazing and maintaining, all ready for the first working day of 2008. In between the pop punk listening sessions.

Boy is off getting colour done, so I’m having a little lone time, wondering how I can possibly be so sleepy at 8pm, and waiting for Helvetica to be ready for my ipod.

2008 seems like the future, huh? It was 8 whole years ago that the millennium was looming, it’s all a bit like, wow. Time flies etc.

I did wake up this morning and feel sort of bummed about another year here in the UK. It really is reaching an all time social low. Or maybe I’m just in my thirties. Having someone to stay in with, makes life much, MUCH better, but still. Grown up punks, where art thou?

There are a million shows this month, I’m all jazzed about Zombina in a couple of weeks, and the boy is super-stoked on Bob Mould.

I wish I was going to Sundance. Not to support Patrick (although I would) but ‘cos I want to see how the adaptation of Choke turned out.

Anyhow, I still have time to squeeze in a movie before bed, so I’m going.