I wannna always feel like part of this was mine…

You know those nights when you NEED to go out, ‘cos something might happen? it just feels that way, you listen to some songs that make you remember that somewhere in the world there are people worth getting to know. That all it can take to change everything, is just one night… tonight feels like one of those nights.

Can’t do anything about it though, lost my cashcard the other night, so can’t actually get any money from anywhere. And anyway, there’s no one around. Robyn is back in America, back on tour, back having fun. Tara is at comicon. Fuck, even Jamie is working til late o clock.

The only thing that compares to the nights out that change life are the nights in that are perfect. And I haven’t had one of those for about 3 years.

You know that bit in beautiful girls , where natalie portmans character is upset about staying in on a saturday night, and tim hutton is all *you have a million saturday nights ahead of you* ? Yeah, feeling that, in the sense that I don’t have a million saturday nights ahead of me, my 20s are all but done and I still haven’t managed to locate my designated other.

I miss America. I miss feeling like nothing IS and everything COULD be.

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forget it, she already did.

Today I kind of feel like Angela at the end of the my-so-called-life episode self esteem (it’s the buffalo tom episode) I know I am being an idiot, but I sort of like it. I should know better.

I can suddenly feel a my-so-called-life marathon coming on.

Tara is at fake truckfest, since the real one got cancelled, due to the apocalyptic weather. So I slept for 10 hours, and have spent the day slacking around with no make up on doing sunday stuff. Best.Weekend.Ever. Haven’t left the house once. Monster foot might actually recover.

I went to the midnight screening of transformers on friday night, after awesome veggie indian in angel. Midnight screening, probably not the best idea after 3 hours sleep the night before, but as aforementioned, recently. I am an idiot. (Jamie’s being quite sensible, we need to restore the universal balance). So the opening was good (but as usual, with Bay’s direction), the action begins to slide and theres that hoour long period in the middle where nothing really happens and you get a bit bored. I fell asleep during this part. The Transformers looked pretty good though, and the action sequences were great. From what I can remember, the plot was extremely thin on the ground, and some of the later developments seemed more ridiculous than the CGI wolves in day after tomorrow. But it’s worth going to see at the cinema, if only for the stuff blowing up, and giant robot attacks. Bay is good at that. It’s about all he’s good at.

Highlights of the cinema experience were; Tara being hit on by the acne faced confectionary stand guy, “hey mamma, I’ll hook you up with half price candy” and the JJAbrams trailer beforehand, I’d seen it on appletrailers, but it looks fricken awesome on the big screen, and y’all know how much I despise LOST. I’m pretty excited.

It hasn’t rained yet today. Don’t worry, it’s going to pour tomorrow.

If we can just make it through the next month or so without a heat wave then summer will be over, and I’ll have survived it unscathed. Roll on fall. And impending 30th birthday gloom.

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